How to deal with perceived threat
I shared this video of a bird attacking itself in the mirror and spoke about how he was perceiving non existent threat, and it made me think how many business owners do this too. Here are 4 quick top tips to help you deal with the threats that aren’t even there that attack your mind and stop you from achieving more, because this is important to remember, if you don’t deal with these threats, even the non existent ones they will hang out in your subconscious, and that enables damage to the quality of the actions you take, your thoughts, your beliefs and your results. Ready to deal with them?
- Is it a real threat? So often what we think is an issue when analysed we can see that it is being blown out of proportion in our heads and is in actual fact a rather silly thing to fear. But hey I wrote a whole book about fear, don’t dismiss fear. Fear will attack your success every chance it gets. So first things first does this threat really exist? Or is it something you think could happen? What are the reasons that you think this could happen? (It is often a light bulb moment for a client when I suggest that they have decided on the outcome and it’s never a good outcome, and who says that this is the outcome you will get? Who say’s that this is fact and it’s already happened?)
- Why does it feel real? If you can’t help but feel like this is a real threat. Ask yourself what the reasons why could be? Let the threat feel like it’s happening right now, what do you notice? Do you feel like you are lacking in a skill set or a mindset? By understanding your perception of the threat you are able to break it down into small parts and tackle it.
- What proof do you have that you can get through this? If you know it’s not a real threat, or even a perceived one that felt real! What evidence do you have that you can get the results you want? In your experience and past there will be examples of how you have overcome adversity, gained results when no one else could (or thought you could!) and succeeded. So although you may sit there scratching your head thinking “aaa I can’t think of any Mandie” I bet you the moon on a stick you could find the evidence if you needed to. And here is the thing….you do need to! Because if you don’t you are agreeing to enabling that perceived threat to turn into a fear that will damage your success. So it’s suddenly seems easier to list the occasions that you overcome threats in the past right?
- If it is a real threat, then how will you ensure you don’t encounter it again? Threats real or perceived need to be understood. By doing this you have skills for the future that make your chances of success higher (why do you think people work with coach’s for years? It’s so they can ensure they are always working on the real threats and extinguishing the imagined ones!) What procedures do you need to put into place to ensure you don’t encounter this threat to your success again? This can be anything from scheduling time to deal with X to ensuring I network twice a month to stop myself from becoming isolated. Remember no one need know what actions you plan, however your success will appreciate the helping hand in dealing with the negativity that aims to damage your success. So plan today!
The Bane of Learning New Stuff – And Why Every Business Woman Must
So the BWN website is getting an overhaul.
I personally got raked over the coals for being too good at marketing and driving too many business women to the site and it couldn’t cope. Now that is the kind of telling off I like!
But the outcome is my IT Fairy (no really we have an IT Fairy!) said that we were going over to an even more interactive site.
The Business Women on our site would be able to use it more and it would work even better for driving traffic to their websites.
It would be easier for business women to access the information they needed.
And we would be able to add a shop with great business offerings and books from our favourite speakers.
It all sounded great……BUT…..
I like many have a passion for just getting on with it. And when confronted with something new something goes in my head. It’s my Mrs Negativity. I don’t know if you have one (But I’m betting you do) mine looks a bit like Maureen Lipman off of the BT adverts. “An ology” remember. Wow I bet I’m showing my age there!
But the fact is when she pipes up the real me. The capable, effective business women me kind of shrinks a bit. As Mrs Negativity says things like “Mmmm do you remember that time at Dads house when you broke the TV, best you leave that well alone don’t you think for the clever folk.” Then she whines “Still you are not bad at cooking, stick to that dear and leave the grown up stuff to someone cleverer. There’s no shame in being a good housewife love. Everyone needs clean floors.” Okay so there is nothing wrong with being a full time homemaker. I loved that time in my life. But the way Mrs Negativity says it she makes me feel about 5 again.
So why do we let this happen?
I know the quickest way to shut her up is to prove her wrong. And here is the thing. The minute you take action things get easier. Okay so you might make a mistake but with most things in life, that can be fixed and you can learn in the process.
The problem is the longer you hold off, you allow your Mrs Negativity to attack your success and your momentum. The less powerful you are and the stronger you make your Mrs Negativity.
Learning new things is so often an area that we procrastinate on. We hold fire. We “Wait and See” But how beneficial is that for your success?
What impact is that going to have on your business and your life?
In business there will always be a latest gadget, tool, idea that you are going to need to get your head round and you have 2 choices. 1) rise to the challengae and learn something new to grow your business and your success or 2) allow it to be an obstacle to your success.
Now who wants to put obstacles in the way of their success?
Mmmm so here I sit with a brand new layout to blog with, a new style website to up date, to interact with business women and slightly nervous as to how posting this blog will go. But Mrs Negativity (Sorry Maureen Lipman but it will always be your face I see) is firmly shut up. Oh yes I’m sure as I press a wrong key she will be there to say “told you so” but I will be ready “With don’t worry love, I have plenty of experiences of getting it right so it’s only a matter of time!” And as I say that confidently like the successful business woman I am, in my mind I am sticking my tongue out at her (Well everyone that knows me knows I’m very young and fun at heart – yes just a big kid really!)
Every time this week something new comes along. Don’t say “mmmm That looks interesting – I will look into it” Give it go. Get stuck in. And I would love to know how you get on. At the BWN there are always new things to learn, if you don’t see something you like, let us know and we will get that subject added.
mandie@thebusinesswomansnetwork.co.uk